Thanks for giving me your time, for start. I just feel awful. I’ve been diagnosed with COPD with Emphysema, severe, 4 months ago at 52. Very severe. Been holding ok, saturation fine - going up to 96% YaaY:)! Been exercising regularly, all that. Don’t even know how I managed to do all that, mere wonder.
I live in this God awful country, healthcare system - pure horror movie, medicaments and drugs costs in general - unbelievably unreasonable. Especially if you’re unemployed, like I am. An expert in my field, an Architect, an Interior Designer, Urban Planner, what not. Been an expat in Middle East for almost 20 years and had to return here cause of sick old parents. Huge mistake. The only comfort is that I’ve been by my Daddy’s side at his hours of need. Now I have my mum, which is in good health, thank God. But not being able to work here, just because you can get work here ONLY if you’re politically well connected, if you look at dictator on the throne with absolute adoration and submission and you declare all that publicly (otherwise, no one has seen it, so didn’t happen!) that - I cannot do, and it’s killing me not to work. As I’m used to working. I don’t see a happy life without work!!!
I am of democratic upbringing, I believe in freedom and I believe all humans are created equal. And I believe that those in or close to currently ruling political party belong in past centuries. Not the present. Anyways, just wanted to unburden a little here, to all of you lovely people, as you can understand me when I say how it feels when you can’t have the drug that you need at the moment. Or the home nebulizer. Or the home oxygen kit. As I can only assume the cost of private clinics sending their staff with equipment and drugs. Horrible. That’s why I focused on yoga, breathing exercises etc. but it’s so hard as I feel the oxygen shortage. I feel it and then I’m imagining my organs deteriorating... And there’s nothing more I like and want - then to work!!! I just adore my job. And I can’t find any.
I’m trying not to sound desperate but I sed that my despair is a see through these sentences and I’m sorry for that.
I also hate to complain, but just felt the need of shout out all this to the community that I feel it has a capacity of understanding me. I sincerely hope I’m not mistaken.
Thanks dear friends for taking the time to read my daily thoughts spilled out here. My daily antagonizing pain. Thanks. And be safe and well. ❤️❤️❤️