Thankyou very much to each of you for your observations and advice. I thoroughly appreciate your time and consideration. I know I’m making a terrible hash of things at the moment and sound full of doom and gloom. I’ve been floundering on a sea of apprehension for sometime and until my wife suggested I reach out to you chaps, I’d been surviving on a cobbled together policy of mend and make do. I’m afraid I have only limited access to informed medical assistance and even less hope of consulting with a specialist. Therefore your experience and especially the challenges you propose are greatly welcomed.
To be more affirmative,I am recently retired and solvent which means I can tackle the disease head on. Even though I’m glum this hasn’t prevented me from doing all that I can to slow the progression. I’ve mention in part, I am t-total, diary free on a good diet, take additional supplements, drink plenty of water and exercise outdoors 4.5 hours a day, come rain, shine or (fairly grotesque) fatigue. I have had a pretty rough time with meds though, hence the present furlough (tiotropium nearly finished me off) and so you’re quite right Mobal in your assessment of my dysfunctional relationship here. I have come to loathe the insidious medicalization of my life and up with this I will not put, until the oxygen runs low.
Your replies have shone a powerful light on how poorly I’ve managed the psychological aspect of the disease. It’s becoming clear I’ve dangerously underestimated the corrosive affect this has had on myself and my family. I’m horribly susceptible to the truism that when you can’t breathe, you can think of nothing else. And I’m still extremely angry with myself for destroying, or at any rate denuding of pleasure, the retirement my wife has worked so very hard for too.
I need to move on if I’m to keep kit and caboodle on the rails. How to do this, in light of the circumstances though, is entirely a different matter and quite beyond me. How on earth did you chaps manage it?