My father just turned 80 ten days ago (we weren't sure he was going to make it). Last year he has aspiration pneumonia caused by a Zinkers diverticulum, and spent a solid month in the hospital, followed by two weeks in, two weeks out for four months with different bacterial pneumonias. Lab tests showed he was positive for MAC/MAI (nonTB), pseudomonas, and most recently, e.coli. After completing pulm rehab last June, things were good until an issue around April and then again until July, which is when we got the positive e.coli.
Right now, he isn't doing well. The O2 concentrator is at 8L. He just came back from an appointment with the pulmonologist (and it was just the PA and that guy was a 5 too), and was told he has end-stage COPD. He spent last night in the ER, which showed his lungs were the same as they have been for the last half dozen scans that have been done. When someone listens to his lungs, they always say "oh your lungs sound great/clear!" But that obviously isn't the case.
All the neb treatments give him horrible tremors and shakes, which makes standing and walking around dangerous. So the ER doc gave him some Ativan to take before he does a treatment, and tbh, he kinda needed it anyway because his anxiety has been getting to him but he would never admit it.
But one thing that's new is his ankles are incredibly swollen today. They weren't this morning when I picked him up at the ER, but over the course of the morning/day, they've become very swollen from fluid retention. This tactless PA scared my mum by saying that meant there was fluid around his heart. I'm not a doctor, but I'm a smart person, and I'm pretty sure that doesn't just develop overnight, essentially.
Also, I'm not sure how to help my mum in dealing with my dad's decline. I feel like I'm trying to shoulder all the emotional weight.